are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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