just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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