The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
