Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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