Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
