Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize