I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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