You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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