I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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