Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
