How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
