Cold hands, warm shart.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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