my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
