New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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