He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
