By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
