the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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