Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
