some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
