Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
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