only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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