So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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