New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Barsexuality is the new black.
he was CRYING into my vagina
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
