Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize