I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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