so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just had sex bonerless
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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