And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
