so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
