if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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