He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
