Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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