I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
