Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
