She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
