So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
