Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
