just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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