so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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