You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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