i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
