Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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