God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Randomize
