I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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