belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I faked an abortion last night.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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