I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
