There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
