Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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