He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
