Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He passed out mid-signature
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize