why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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