Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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