Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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