Who did Billy Mays play for?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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