I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
you had me at cake vodka
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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