Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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