Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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