i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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