come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
