I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
