forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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